I wanna disappear
by DeCkLaRatioN
Summary: Taichi is thinking about his love he has and is listening to Metallica at the same time. But Destiny was meant to be with him that day. Taiora,Songfic "Metallica - I Disappear"


**Authors Note: Another Story i've started months ago and finished now. Maybe you also recognize this time as well that it is a old one and yes, Tai is at beginn having Emo thoughts. Yes, Tai, not Davis like the other ones. Have fun with this story :P Btw, the song i used is from Metallica - I disappear **

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_This time i Disappear_

Tai just stood there, trying to realize what's going on in his life. With the same song in his head and in his Player which he is listen to.

_Hey, Hey, Hey,_

_Here I go now_

_Here I go in to new days_

_Hey, Hey, Hey_

_Here I go now_

_Here I go into new days_

_I'm pain, I'm hope, I'm suffer_

_Yeah, Hey, Hey, Hey, yeah_

_Here I go into new days_

He loved that song. He loved it as much as he loved one other person. Uncalled he just listened the song

_Hey, Hey, Hey_

_Ain't no mercy, Ain't mercy left for me,_

_Hey, Hey, Hey_

_Ain't no mercy, Ain't mercy left for me, _

The song makes him thinking about himself, his life and what he should do about it. He wasn't the old leader of the Digidestined anymore... He were someone else, with something else in his heart then Courage. He never knew why but everytime he saw her with his best friend... With Matt, he felt a pain in his heart. This pain were strong enough to make him crazy, letting him suffer the whole time. He continued listen to his MP3 music.

_I'm pain, I'm hope, I'm suffer_

He felt like this is teaching him something now. This little sentence told him much about himself. The pain he feels the whole time, the hope he gives to himself about the girl he liked and the suffer he feels about the never coming hope. But "liked" is the wrong word now. "Love" describes it perfectly, even though he don't wanna see it. He wanna be too blind to see it. Too cold to comprehension it. Too heartless to keep it. His courage flow away sinces ages. Since the time when he recognised that he loved her.

_yeah, Hey, Hey, Hey_

_Ain't no mercy, Ain't no mercy left for me_

"The song is so damned right.", he just whispered to himself.

_Do you bury me when I'm gone_

_Do you teach me while I'm here_

_...just as soon as I belong, then it's time I disappear_

This made him think most.

Will someone care if he dies? Will she care about it? If he would do suicide, would someone be there on time to help? Would the person help him, try to get him away from that road? Questions about Questions... without a Answer at all.

"God is cursing about it... I got no idea what to think. ", he muttered under his breath. He catched Kari just moving into his room slowly and quiet, no one would've seen her. Tai just pointed his finger into her direction and said: "Caught."

Kari stood there in shock and didn't moved. She was like freezed. "T-Tai, it's not like you thought it is. ", was her beginning of the apologized. Tai putted his headset on his neck and was getting some words in his head and was near to scream her the hell out of his room, but then he kept the quiet voice.

"I hope you have a good reason why you just went into my room, and didn't knocked on the door. "

Silence.

Nothing else, only silence was in the air. Kari broke in sweat and began like: "Ähh, you know Taichi, there is this book i wanna read again. Yeah! A book i wanna read again that you have in your room. "

Taichi was able to see the lie in her eyes, but he wasn't angry with her at all. A simple: "Get the book and then yourself out of my room. " made her a bit calmed again. A rang at the door shocked her out of her thoughts and Tai stood up. He slowly walked through the door of his room, into mainhall and slowly to the main entrance door. After he opened it, he saw a cheerful and happy Sora.

"Taiii, good Day !", she gave him a tight huge and said: "Can i go in with you, please ?"

Taichi had no idea what to think. Sora just hugged him. She putted her arm around him on purpose. He blushed slightly but broke out of his thoughts again. She entered the main hall, putted her Sandals at the door and went into the Living Room as well as sitting now on one of the couchs.

"So...", he started to state but was broken up by Sora.

"Tai, i've made a decide."

He looked at her, while Silence came over them. He heard his Heart-beat. He wanted to go to, warp his arms around her and kiss her madly. But he would've regret to do that, which would make him forever losing Soras trust.

"Tai... I wanna tell you something... ", it was a kinda mysterious tone in her voice and Tai didn't liked it at all. He was already aware of her that she says something that he is unable to understand or that he refuses to like.

"You might've noticed that i like Matt... ", still that mysterious tone in her voice. She began to blush slightly. "I wanted to tell you, that it's wrong. We are only friends... "

Tai looked at her. And smiled. Even though it's a faked smile. He tried to fight an angry look or maybe even a sad look.

"...and..."

He felt uneasily now. What does she want to tell him that needs so long, what makes her bothering to just tell him ?  
"I think I love you. "

Another Silence. This one seems to be like holding on for years. First only Seconds went on, then it appears to be Minutes. After Tai realized it were just 20 Seconds that had been between them he tried to think about what she just said.

Did she say that she likes Me , he thought to himself. it was kind of unbelievable for him. But now he smiled. It wasn't a faked smile this time, but one from his heart. The first been shock faded with this smile. His old thoughts are gone as well.

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**Authors End Note: Wasn't that bad, was it ? I hope you liked it. Bye.**

**Your AshSkY aka S4dn3sS **


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